It has been six weeks and two days since Lincoln went to be with our heavenly Father. For a few moments every now and then it doesn't seem real. How can it be? How is it possible for a person to experience such pure joy and excruciating sadness in the same memory? My concept of time and emotions do not line up. Emotionally it feels like we just arrived home from the hospital for the last time after saying goodbye to our son. At the same time it feels like August 22, 2012 happened years ago. I don't think I'm able to articulate this concept like it really feels to me but that's the best I can do.
I got to hold my sweet baby for the first and last time on August 22. It was the most precious gift to finally be able to hold him after nine days. I am so thankful that we were allowed those few hours to be that physically close to Lincoln. I sat and watched as David held our son in his arms, my most amazing husband who has held me as I've cried more times that I can count over the past weeks. My mom told me at the hospital that I chose the BEST husband and I absolutely agree. David is the most incredible example of faith. He has been my rock, keeps me sane, yet shares my grief every day. My love and respect for him has grown so much as we continue to live with our incredible loss.
I don't know how to end this post. I don't have a closing thought or point that I was indenting to make. If you are one of the many people who have sent a card, brought a meal, donated to CHOA, emailed, or have prayed for us - you have been an indescribable blessing. We still covet your prayers and support as we continue to get back into "normal" life.
Hi Caroline. You posted on our blog a few days ago, and I immediately came here to read about your Lincoln and your story. I posted a comment on this post, but it's not here now, so I must have failed to publish it on accident. I wanted to let you know that we are praying for your family. I am so sad for your loss and grief, but I rejoice in your sweet Lincoln and his life. I am praying that God meets your every need and that you are overwhelmed by His goodness, faithfulness, and peace that passes understanding. I am praying that He carries you through every day and comforts your soul as only He can. My email, if you want to contact me further, is kathrynandbryan@hotmail.com
ReplyDeleteThe verses I clung to in our grief are Psalm 84:5-6, "Happy are those who are strong in the Lord...when they walk through the Valley of Weeping it will become a place of refreshing springs where pools of blessing collect after the rains." I am praying for those refreshing springs and pools of blessing that God is at work creating from your grief. And I am praying for your endurance in this dark and difficult days.